maybe one day
I’ll visit

we’ll stand in the old kitchen
morning sun bathing the sink
in the light and warmth
you washed me in as a baby

maybe one day
I’ll visit

when I hug you
you’ll hug me back
when you hug me
I’ll hug you back

maybe one day
maybe once more

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Step 1: Write a lighting speed paragraph that makes little sense.
Step 2: Delete, try again.
Step 3: Write two sentences. Stop. Delete. Try again.
Step 4: Assess the situation. Numb, empty. Blank. Two of a kind, the page and I.
Step 5: Assess the situation. Am I even going to remember this moment?
Step 6: Try to will the pain to come out, the bandage to lift from the skin.
Step 7: Wonder if your hands are trembling too much to type.
Step 8: Keep typing. Keep typing.
Step 9: Try again. Don’t delete.
Step 10: Keep typing.

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J.N. Estey

J.N. Estey

She/her · MSW · Columbia ’21. First book “Creatio ex Nihilo: Poems and Stories about Depression, Survival, and the Resurgence of Hope” available on Amazon 💗